Could Billy have been mistaken? Or been as famous, had he been called John Fletcher or  Philip Massinger? (The two writers that some Skakespearean critics have allotted the authorship of many  William's sonnets and the play, HENRY V111. 

Now, I'd like to take up this 'what's in a name' argument with Shakespeare, for one important reason. How many people (including yourself) do you know, like the names given to them?

After a quick survey, I found that 80 percent of people are dissatisfied with either their given name, their surname - or both.

As Jews, fortunately or unfortunately, we are guided by our Yiddish traditions. We are expected to pass on the name of a dead grandparent to our offspring. To keep alive the memory of that deceased person for another generation.

All fine and dandy, when Biblical names, such as, Aaron, Daniel, Miriam and Sarah are commonly used by both Christians and Jews alike.  But, when you are stuck with a name like, Chaim, Moshe or Bashevis you're in big trouble with both pronunciation and spelling among the Goyim even before we enter into the issue of surnames. 

Some of us were luckier than others. When in the 50's and 60's it was customary for migrants to Anglicize their difficult to pronounce surnames. In a bid to make life easier and for the benefit of Australian Immigration officials, who could not comprehend European phonetics, Liechtenstein was changed to Light, Zabludowski became Zable, and Zelazko was literally translated to Irons.

Notwithstanding, the greatest name changing has to be among the Yidden of Hollywood. How dramatic would the wit of a redheaded, bespectacled Woody Allen have remained with audiences if written by an actor called Allen Konigsberg? Or how macho would've the screen, sword-n-sandal characters of Spartacus and  Demetrius (the gladiator) have been if accredited to actors called, Issur Danielovitch and Wladek Mankowicz?

Up until the 1960's, Hollywood in its infinite wisdom, sought to find a hidden association between a name and a particular screen image they wanted to create. In the case of Issur Danielovitch the transition to Kirk Douglas and Hollywood 's coded message becomes clear.  Firstly the given name Kirk meaning church in Scottish and immediately the Yiddish inference disappears. And put Kirk against the family clan-ish surname of Douglas and the analogy bring forth a strong message of power and stability. Thus we have a Spartacus!

And, I wonder how the handsome Tony Curtis would've fared as a lady-killer had he kept his original name, Bernie Schwarz? And could Cary Grant still have been as debonair if he’d remained Archibald Leach? Not to mention, the totally zany Marx Brothers: Groucho, Harpo, Chico and Zeppo. Could audiences have accepted their lethal wisecracks and verbal repartee coming from the mouths of Julius, not Adolph, but Leonard and Herbert Marx, respectively? 

Today, unlike yesteryear, some Hollywood stars both behind and in front of the camera, such as, Steven Spielberg, Barbra Streisand and Dustin Hoffman decided not to bob their names or noses to spite their race. But, even Bette Milder admitted that her mother named her Bette (after Bette Davis) on second thought realising that Betty Milder would be too Jewish a name.

However, in singer, Englebert Humperdinck's case, the reverse made a greater impact on his career. He decided that being allotted the simple name, Gerry Dorsey was a plight too common to bare. As common as the practice was among the glitterati to change their names to fit the image, so it was true for many Hollywood 's moguls.

Producer, David O Selznick retorted that he added the O for Oomph when asked to rationalize his decision. While director, George Cukor's name was dutifully pronounced 'Kookor' when he changed the vowels from his Polish surname, Cukier meaning Sugar.  His reasoning comes as no surprise.  After all, how seriously would an actor take to directions from a Mr. Sugar, anyway?

Finally, the proof of the pudding test for my Shakespearean argument comes when you try to get your tongue around the word 'Gelbfiszism' as opposed to a 'Goldwynism'.  To take a leaf from Sam Goldwyn's book, "In two words: im-possible!"  

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